After Pass

Well, I am home now from visiting my husband. Tuesday started out great because he met me at the airport. But then plans fell through for the pinning and he had to leave again. Only a few hours later and we were together again. We spent most of our time just the two of us so it was very nice. We didn't do much, shopped for baby stuff, shirts for me, and lots of fun stuff for him. It was for the most part relaxing. The first night we went and ate supper on post then went back to lodging and just sat in bed watching tv. The hubby watched Baby Boo move around a bit that night and he thought it was pretty cool. Sad part is, He never could feel him moving. The next few days flew by. We almost ended up in Mexico one day...a little scary...but it was an adventure. I did a very god job not crying until Thursday night. I could tell something was bothering him, and getting him to talk is like pulling teeth. So, I finally got some words out of him...and that's when I lost it. I finally had to tell him to put his arms around me and just hold me while I sobbed. Thankfully that lasted just about 10 minutes then I managed to pull myself together and everything was ok again. Every morning I woke up about 4 hours before him, and each morning I laid there just staring at him. Memorizing every inch of his face, his arms, and his back. And yes, each morning the horrible thought of, "This could be the last time I ever get to do this" came to mind. Of course I think positively and I know deep down that he will come home and everything will be just fine. But there is always that little voice, that I think every military wife has, that says, always prepare for the worst that way if the best happens it'll be a very welcome surprise. Friday night was the hardest, I was so tired, and fell asleep way too early. But woke up Saturday and tried to pretend that it was not our last day together. I woke him up early and we got breakfast. Then we just laid in bed. We both were thinking the same thing but neither of us wanted to say anything. So we went about our day. Then we went back to the room and took a nap. We woke up and realized that it was 1900. My first thought was, "Only 4 more hours...NOOOOOOOOO!" He got up and got ready then he took some baby bump pictures. He also read Baby Boo a book, which I took video of on my phone so I can play it every night while he is gone. Then it was time to go. So we took him to the barracks. I went in with him and said hi to the guys. Then it was time. We walked outside and stood there hugging for a good 15 minutes. We talked and said those things that no one wants to say but knows the other one needs to hear. I did good, only crying a little, until I pulled my head back and look at his eyes. Then I completely lost it. I was crying harder than I have ever cried before. We said our I Love you's and our I'll miss you's. Then it was time for me to go. As I pulled away I watched him in the mirror. I went back to lodging and tried to sleep. I left this morning and am back home now.
By far the hardest thing I have ever done. Soon they will all be on their way, then sooner that we all know it they will be on their way back.
I love my husband and couldn't be more proud of him. I love you Boo!